Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
