Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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