i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
What a dumb baby whore.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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