What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
