Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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