I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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