? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
