Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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