Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
