So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
