New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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