Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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