I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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