Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize