after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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