Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
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Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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