I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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