its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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