Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
