How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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