You're completely useless in the revolution.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
