It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
