Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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