I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
