i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
