I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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