Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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