really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
