saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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