i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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