doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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