Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
