i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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