While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
