I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
