I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Shame - the story of my life.
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