I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
