If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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