I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
