Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't

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(907): View more from Alaska

Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.

(1-907): View more from Alaska

Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.

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(530): View more from California

I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will

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(407): View more from Florida

SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!

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(716): View more from New York

You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage

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(404): View more from Georgia

He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.

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