Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
