Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
