Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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