Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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