New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize