these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
