I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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