Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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