I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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