Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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