And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
