Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
