I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
