The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
worst night to have a conscience
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
