Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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