Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
