We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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